You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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