I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Are we still banned from the library?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize