Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
