it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
