Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Randomize
