My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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