is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
