woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
