i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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