Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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