did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
