Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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