lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
