Where is the hickey?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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