i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Sext me about skeletons
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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