yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Im part way to drunk.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
