make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
