Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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