you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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