a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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