I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
