Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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