it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize