Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
