i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
