White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
