6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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