I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
