And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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