We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
