you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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