we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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