I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
