My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
So vagazzling was a success
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
