he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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