Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize