Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed

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(813): View more from Florida

He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina

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(480): View more from Arizona

we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."

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(630): View more from Illinois

the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.

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(850): View more from Florida

It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"

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