i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
