hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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