his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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