so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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