Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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