So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize