Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
