fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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