i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
