Hey man sorry I got all grabby
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Four minutes until I can fart!
a search helicopter?!
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
