But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
