margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
