So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
