is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize