I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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