need another drink. this is the easiest way
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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