Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize