worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just cut my nipple shaving
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
