Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize