she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
