Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
